No time
like the present
nor better reason
than passion
limitations
must be broken
creativity
given her wings
fruit will come
with preparation
care
and persistence
the seeker
and the hungry
can always use
another gardener
scatter the seed
and let whosoever will
enjoy simple pleasures
some may overlook
this is not about you
not about them
has little to do with pride
only that one has tried
dare to chance
flirt with rebuke
face to the sun
hand to the plough
it's about time
and in the end
let the body be burned
and the music live on
strike while the iron glows
and the dragon of doubt sleeps
go to now ye poet son
go deep
go deep
18December2006
18 December 2006
28 October 2005
I'm Awake!
silly girl sees snow on a summer's day
crazy boy laughs along
she tastes with her tongue
he smiles through his eyes
breeze blows along a lazy river
fish fight over a fly
old man moves minutely
looking for just the right angle
dead man dawdles at his grave
waiting to see who comes
picks a dandelion
from where a neighbor lies
I'm awake!
I can't sleep
I'm awake!
I can see
cars collide and leave the road
finally going somewhere
seeing the unseen
embracing the chaos
flower blooms on cue
every move an opera
every color a prism
even if no one cares
soul leaves bone
says goodbye
as if in a hurry
and finally returns
I'm awake!
I can't sleep
I'm awake!
I can see
I swear...
October 28, 2005
crazy boy laughs along
she tastes with her tongue
he smiles through his eyes
breeze blows along a lazy river
fish fight over a fly
old man moves minutely
looking for just the right angle
dead man dawdles at his grave
waiting to see who comes
picks a dandelion
from where a neighbor lies
I'm awake!
I can't sleep
I'm awake!
I can see
cars collide and leave the road
finally going somewhere
seeing the unseen
embracing the chaos
flower blooms on cue
every move an opera
every color a prism
even if no one cares
soul leaves bone
says goodbye
as if in a hurry
and finally returns
I'm awake!
I can't sleep
I'm awake!
I can see
I swear...
October 28, 2005
Evergreen
evergreen
you and me
falling leaves
finally free
letting go
to and fro
getting low
heaven knows
funny thing
spine tingles
sparrows sing
pumpkin grins
purple cloud
oh, so proud
this old town
sound so loud
orange sun
colors run
never done
maybe some
so my dear
all the years
no fear
be here
October 23, 2005
you and me
falling leaves
finally free
letting go
to and fro
getting low
heaven knows
funny thing
spine tingles
sparrows sing
pumpkin grins
purple cloud
oh, so proud
this old town
sound so loud
orange sun
colors run
never done
maybe some
so my dear
all the years
no fear
be here
October 23, 2005
06 October 2005
Long Shadows
long shadows of the morning grow small
moving left to right
yesterday's sun surrounds you now
never been so bright
every time you turn around
your past goes flyin' by
simple shipwreck on the horizon
broken bottle floats away
thick smoke on a distant mountain top
a language you don't speak
forgotten notes in a wooden box
no one wants to keep
colours in the sky tell it all
silence growing louder
darkened room tilts to the south
earth spins slightly slower
embracing all the risk you've known
a careful man takes a chance
every heavy wall stands down
and then it all makes sense
deep hole holds what the clouds discard
a grave for summer's rain
just wasting time at a funeral for a friend
even though no one came
two lovers run, then fall to the sand
hot and wringing sweat
smile and remember every kiss
then stuggle to forget
October 6, 2005
If I'm lucky, maybe there's a song in there somewhere.
moving left to right
yesterday's sun surrounds you now
never been so bright
every time you turn around
your past goes flyin' by
simple shipwreck on the horizon
broken bottle floats away
thick smoke on a distant mountain top
a language you don't speak
forgotten notes in a wooden box
no one wants to keep
colours in the sky tell it all
silence growing louder
darkened room tilts to the south
earth spins slightly slower
embracing all the risk you've known
a careful man takes a chance
every heavy wall stands down
and then it all makes sense
deep hole holds what the clouds discard
a grave for summer's rain
just wasting time at a funeral for a friend
even though no one came
two lovers run, then fall to the sand
hot and wringing sweat
smile and remember every kiss
then stuggle to forget
October 6, 2005
If I'm lucky, maybe there's a song in there somewhere.
28 September 2005
Not Forever
your image shrinks
backlit, busy and focused
moving forward
back turned
not leaving us behind
but not staying
go on
find your way
no surprise
years turn into seconds
embraces turn familiar faces
into rivers of tears
such a small bag
holds everything
go now, march uphill
I'll be on my way down
suddenly walking in opposite directions
I still can't help but smile
gone
but not forever
until then, leaves will fall
and snow may come
footprints once again
pointing towards home
September 28, 2005
backlit, busy and focused
moving forward
back turned
not leaving us behind
but not staying
go on
find your way
no surprise
years turn into seconds
embraces turn familiar faces
into rivers of tears
such a small bag
holds everything
go now, march uphill
I'll be on my way down
suddenly walking in opposite directions
I still can't help but smile
gone
but not forever
until then, leaves will fall
and snow may come
footprints once again
pointing towards home
September 28, 2005
27 September 2005
Things I See
pretty random, but fun
Ladders creak in the distance as trees bow to the earth
Purple echoes run through a choking mist
Seven stars leave no trace at the scene; tracks covered with moon dust disappear
Zues is all alone in a room too large for most mortals
Hermes runs by with an urgent message; never delivered
“Nail it to the nearest Church door,” Luther says as he is crucified
A second hand from a clock that never worked lives near me
In a refrigerator box on the wrong side of the tracks where no train has ever run
Rushing to smoke the last bit of a cheap cigar before anyone else notices that it’s not lit
One white calla lily grows in a garden of hope and wonders why the sky isn’t blue
Children on red tricycles pedal across an ocean of pine needles
A single bicycle bell is heard a thousand miles away as a soldier sleeps in a truck moving slowly
Spiders leave their webs to play poker with an Old Maid deck missing three cards
A forward thinking irishman googles the word “triumphant,” sifts through 1,745 results, shaking his head in disbelief
“See that thick black wire?” hums a naked bird too lazy to find a living tree “it has the answers”
Lovers sit in a theater, two rows from the back, as a magician pulls a model of human DNA from the flowered hat of an older woman in the front row
Three dead rabbits are found in a dark apartment in south Philly two minutes after midnight on the 23rd
A dove ponders existentialism three seconds before being sucked into the left engine of a fifty year old pilot’s private plane
All the while, a computer monitor fills up with black and white symbols that no one can understand
A hole waits to be dug by a brilliant scientist trying to find the right combination
And an old lady sits on a porch swing crocheting a pair of pink or blue baby booties because that’s all she knows how to make
Three hundred thousand ants have never met their queen, but never stop working
An unsuccessful jewel thief runs away with the wrong pie cooling in the window
And an old marionette asks his God "What does it all mean?"
August 20, 2005
Ladders creak in the distance as trees bow to the earth
Purple echoes run through a choking mist
Seven stars leave no trace at the scene; tracks covered with moon dust disappear
Zues is all alone in a room too large for most mortals
Hermes runs by with an urgent message; never delivered
“Nail it to the nearest Church door,” Luther says as he is crucified
A second hand from a clock that never worked lives near me
In a refrigerator box on the wrong side of the tracks where no train has ever run
Rushing to smoke the last bit of a cheap cigar before anyone else notices that it’s not lit
One white calla lily grows in a garden of hope and wonders why the sky isn’t blue
Children on red tricycles pedal across an ocean of pine needles
A single bicycle bell is heard a thousand miles away as a soldier sleeps in a truck moving slowly
Spiders leave their webs to play poker with an Old Maid deck missing three cards
A forward thinking irishman googles the word “triumphant,” sifts through 1,745 results, shaking his head in disbelief
“See that thick black wire?” hums a naked bird too lazy to find a living tree “it has the answers”
Lovers sit in a theater, two rows from the back, as a magician pulls a model of human DNA from the flowered hat of an older woman in the front row
Three dead rabbits are found in a dark apartment in south Philly two minutes after midnight on the 23rd
A dove ponders existentialism three seconds before being sucked into the left engine of a fifty year old pilot’s private plane
All the while, a computer monitor fills up with black and white symbols that no one can understand
A hole waits to be dug by a brilliant scientist trying to find the right combination
And an old lady sits on a porch swing crocheting a pair of pink or blue baby booties because that’s all she knows how to make
Three hundred thousand ants have never met their queen, but never stop working
An unsuccessful jewel thief runs away with the wrong pie cooling in the window
And an old marionette asks his God "What does it all mean?"
August 20, 2005
The Parade
not perfect, but not bad for a day...
We drove miles
to entertain America,
The real one
not the one on TV
Fire trucks so loud
with nowhere to go
but two miles up the road
as children cheer
People holding clipboards
scramble to make it make sense
The most important person in town today
is the lady who usually does your hair
Clowns, queens, kings
all take a ride in the best seat in the house
and wave that wave
and they all wave back
Some shout familiar greetings
as their temporarily famous neighbors pass
"Betsy Ross" goes by
flying gently in the summer breeze
and an eighty-five year old man salutes
through a sixty-five year old tear
This is the real America
little boys banging air
as the drummers go by
This is where we live
This is my America
Little girls wave excitedly
to the "bean queen"
This is where I live
Big men in little cars
Tractors so shiny
Children picking up candy
from fake politicians and true civil servants
But today is not about them
It's about you
and me
and the baby in the stoller
sleeping through Ronald McDonald
A heavily tattooed father
wearing a John Deere cap
raises his son to his shoulders just so he can see
a '69 Mustang with the top down
"that's when muscle cars ruled" he says
Uncle Sam walks by
He looks much shorter than I thought
but I wave anyway
as he points his famous finger my direction
Then a jeep rolls by
carrying two WWII veterans
and I secretly wonder
what kind of hell they've lived through
What kind of sacrifice they've made
to allow my children to walk
through every red light in town
as America waves and cheers
A concrete truck that looks like it was just washed
(likely the only time this year)
rolls noisily down another job well done
humming a low tune as the barrel turns
A policeman walks with "Shadow"
who can smell drugs a mile away
but right now is more interested
in a two year old's tootsie roll
a group of 'Nam vets
yell loudly as they march in time
and I remember
when they did not hear cheers
Why are 20 dogs in this parade?
and what exactly is "tailwaggers" anyway?
But I can't help but smile
as the St. Bernard drags the lady the whole way
And could someone explain
why a unicycle has to be made more difficult
by raising it 12 feet
from the earth...
A non-descript man with a shovel
walks behind the Clydesdales as people applaud
and I think "a bad day shoveling at a parade...
is still a pretty good day"
And finally ninety year old "Sam" rolls by
in a sweet new convertible
"Our Town's Citizen of the Year"
an award likely given just in time
This parade is not perfect
No, not by a longshot
But for one morning
our greatest concern is not Iraq, Saddam or WMD
or any other divisive word or acronym
Today we only need to know
how much longer until the marching band?
what temperature is the water at the beach?
and what's for lunch?
In the door of a storefront
sits one old lady in a wheelchair holding an american flag
she is wrapped in a blanket on an eighty degree day
but she's here, with America
Who am I kidding, she IS America
Just like you
Just like me
Everyone loves a parade...
July 3, 2005
We drove miles
to entertain America,
The real one
not the one on TV
Fire trucks so loud
with nowhere to go
but two miles up the road
as children cheer
People holding clipboards
scramble to make it make sense
The most important person in town today
is the lady who usually does your hair
Clowns, queens, kings
all take a ride in the best seat in the house
and wave that wave
and they all wave back
Some shout familiar greetings
as their temporarily famous neighbors pass
"Betsy Ross" goes by
flying gently in the summer breeze
and an eighty-five year old man salutes
through a sixty-five year old tear
This is the real America
little boys banging air
as the drummers go by
This is where we live
This is my America
Little girls wave excitedly
to the "bean queen"
This is where I live
Big men in little cars
Tractors so shiny
Children picking up candy
from fake politicians and true civil servants
But today is not about them
It's about you
and me
and the baby in the stoller
sleeping through Ronald McDonald
A heavily tattooed father
wearing a John Deere cap
raises his son to his shoulders just so he can see
a '69 Mustang with the top down
"that's when muscle cars ruled" he says
Uncle Sam walks by
He looks much shorter than I thought
but I wave anyway
as he points his famous finger my direction
Then a jeep rolls by
carrying two WWII veterans
and I secretly wonder
what kind of hell they've lived through
What kind of sacrifice they've made
to allow my children to walk
through every red light in town
as America waves and cheers
A concrete truck that looks like it was just washed
(likely the only time this year)
rolls noisily down another job well done
humming a low tune as the barrel turns
A policeman walks with "Shadow"
who can smell drugs a mile away
but right now is more interested
in a two year old's tootsie roll
a group of 'Nam vets
yell loudly as they march in time
and I remember
when they did not hear cheers
Why are 20 dogs in this parade?
and what exactly is "tailwaggers" anyway?
But I can't help but smile
as the St. Bernard drags the lady the whole way
And could someone explain
why a unicycle has to be made more difficult
by raising it 12 feet
from the earth...
A non-descript man with a shovel
walks behind the Clydesdales as people applaud
and I think "a bad day shoveling at a parade...
is still a pretty good day"
And finally ninety year old "Sam" rolls by
in a sweet new convertible
"Our Town's Citizen of the Year"
an award likely given just in time
This parade is not perfect
No, not by a longshot
But for one morning
our greatest concern is not Iraq, Saddam or WMD
or any other divisive word or acronym
Today we only need to know
how much longer until the marching band?
what temperature is the water at the beach?
and what's for lunch?
In the door of a storefront
sits one old lady in a wheelchair holding an american flag
she is wrapped in a blanket on an eighty degree day
but she's here, with America
Who am I kidding, she IS America
Just like you
Just like me
Everyone loves a parade...
July 3, 2005
What's in a Number?
about as random as it gets for me...
3
inhale
breathe
diaphragm
hold
exhale
score and ten
24
air
sky
sun
warmth
comfort
hours
365
breeze
bird
trees
whisper
soft
days
1,000,000
earth
cool
dew
natural
past
miles
60
click
electricity
delay
open
smile
seconds
42
distance
missing
phone
substitute
enough
age
1
pain
joy
all
worthy
precious
life
July 2, 2005
3
inhale
breathe
diaphragm
hold
exhale
score and ten
24
air
sky
sun
warmth
comfort
hours
365
breeze
bird
trees
whisper
soft
days
1,000,000
earth
cool
dew
natural
past
miles
60
click
electricity
delay
open
smile
seconds
42
distance
missing
phone
substitute
enough
age
1
pain
joy
all
worthy
precious
life
July 2, 2005
Melancholy Times
they come and, hopefully, they go
never on schedule
yet they come
these melancholy times
along with haunting rhymes
like water runs
swaying north and south
to and fro
a rusted back porch swing
two birds begin to sing
songs they know
shouting from the street
brings me back
from memories divine
if only in my mind
thoughts off track
not the only one
(this I know)
to never feel quite sane
to want to quit this game
overflow
all of this will pass
given time
laughter will rule again
please help me smile 'till then
I'll be fine
June 29, 2005
never on schedule
yet they come
these melancholy times
along with haunting rhymes
like water runs
swaying north and south
to and fro
a rusted back porch swing
two birds begin to sing
songs they know
shouting from the street
brings me back
from memories divine
if only in my mind
thoughts off track
not the only one
(this I know)
to never feel quite sane
to want to quit this game
overflow
all of this will pass
given time
laughter will rule again
please help me smile 'till then
I'll be fine
June 29, 2005
Learning
I am learning
I think
about this life
and what it means
I am winning
I hope
in the struggle between pride
and humility
I am optimistic
I try
to see the best in people
before noticing the bad
I am happy
I smile
at the most amazing
people and things
I am sad
I cry
without shedding a tear
or so I think
June 28, 2005
I think
about this life
and what it means
I am winning
I hope
in the struggle between pride
and humility
I am optimistic
I try
to see the best in people
before noticing the bad
I am happy
I smile
at the most amazing
people and things
I am sad
I cry
without shedding a tear
or so I think
June 28, 2005
Everybody Gets a Turn
We all stand in line
waiting for our chance
to manifest our humanity
in so many different ways
Step right up...
Everyone gets a turn
to laugh
cry
live
die
We all take a spin
on the mistake machine
ride the wave of love
and drive each other crazy
Line forms to the left please...
In time we do it all at least once
those of us who are lucky
lucky enough to dare
brave enough to try
Sadly there are some who only watch
unwilling to hear the "click, click click"
of the roller coaster ride
that is this life
No one rides without a ticket...
Everyone takes a chance
some are dealt pain
others joy
but each are alive in their own way
Stay behind yellow line...
Eventually, life and age
have their way with us all
we pay the piper
and do the time
and if we're lucky
we get three score and ten
and if we're lucky
everybody gets a turn
oh, and one more thing...
Keep hands and feet inside until ride comes to a complete stop...
June 22, 2005
waiting for our chance
to manifest our humanity
in so many different ways
Step right up...
Everyone gets a turn
to laugh
cry
live
die
We all take a spin
on the mistake machine
ride the wave of love
and drive each other crazy
Line forms to the left please...
In time we do it all at least once
those of us who are lucky
lucky enough to dare
brave enough to try
Sadly there are some who only watch
unwilling to hear the "click, click click"
of the roller coaster ride
that is this life
No one rides without a ticket...
Everyone takes a chance
some are dealt pain
others joy
but each are alive in their own way
Stay behind yellow line...
Eventually, life and age
have their way with us all
we pay the piper
and do the time
and if we're lucky
we get three score and ten
and if we're lucky
everybody gets a turn
oh, and one more thing...
Keep hands and feet inside until ride comes to a complete stop...
June 22, 2005
To Life
dedicated to those who have been to the edge... and lived to tell about it
It wasn't a cry for help
more of a whisper of futility
that led you to that ledge
all alone in the cool evening wind
been so long since you heard the quiet
since your breath registered in your ears
and your heart made an audible sound
as it beat within your heaving chest
"this is life" you think
as the wind comes blowing against you like a familiar friend
reminding you of clouds and oceans
of a past so long ago forgotten
a conflicted tear pushes to the rim
of a downward looking eye
slides to the end of a lash
and falls
twelve seconds later
a splash
unnoticed by those below
but clearly felt at this height
and for reasons that you don't fully grasp
you step back off the ledge
realizing that jumping or staying
may not fix anything
but as you come down from the edge
and come in out of the wind
only one thought echoes in you wearied mind
"this is life"
you've been to the edge
and back...
to life
June 21, 2005
It wasn't a cry for help
more of a whisper of futility
that led you to that ledge
all alone in the cool evening wind
been so long since you heard the quiet
since your breath registered in your ears
and your heart made an audible sound
as it beat within your heaving chest
"this is life" you think
as the wind comes blowing against you like a familiar friend
reminding you of clouds and oceans
of a past so long ago forgotten
a conflicted tear pushes to the rim
of a downward looking eye
slides to the end of a lash
and falls
twelve seconds later
a splash
unnoticed by those below
but clearly felt at this height
and for reasons that you don't fully grasp
you step back off the ledge
realizing that jumping or staying
may not fix anything
but as you come down from the edge
and come in out of the wind
only one thought echoes in you wearied mind
"this is life"
you've been to the edge
and back...
to life
June 21, 2005
Thunder & Lightning
dedicated to those who feel lost
wind whistles, a train blows
against the silence of this height
pregnant screech with a honk
but no hit
thunder with no lightning
the pigeon lectures
as the preacher walk past below
planning to save the world
while one lost soul looks down on him
stomach churns
knuckles crack
saline eyes close, then open
air flees condemned lungs
mind, once full, empties for the last time
switch flips somewhere
deep in the subconscious
no going back this time
moon disappears behind a dark cloud
star waves as it falls to the distant horizon
slow lean
pregnant descent with a scream, and a hit
thunder and lightning
June 20, 2005
wind whistles, a train blows
against the silence of this height
pregnant screech with a honk
but no hit
thunder with no lightning
the pigeon lectures
as the preacher walk past below
planning to save the world
while one lost soul looks down on him
stomach churns
knuckles crack
saline eyes close, then open
air flees condemned lungs
mind, once full, empties for the last time
switch flips somewhere
deep in the subconscious
no going back this time
moon disappears behind a dark cloud
star waves as it falls to the distant horizon
slow lean
pregnant descent with a scream, and a hit
thunder and lightning
June 20, 2005
One at a Time
dedicated to people who have no idea what to write or say, who to love or hold, or even who they are or want to be...
He started to type that "he started to type"
just to have something on the page
In time, the words came
and ideas crept in
one line at a time
Was it a love sonet?
would he write about some imagined woman?
or why he feels so alone without her
or how her skin feels against the fingers of his mind?
one heartbeat at a time
Could it be rage that stains the page
frustration flowing freely into form
"Why does this life have to be
so completely frustrating for me?"
one desperate scream at a time
She's been gone forever it seems
surely he could put the feeling into words
does a dictionary contain the pain
of someone ripping half of you to pieces
one tear at a time
he calms the death grip on the pen
relaxes the muscles in his hand
reaches for the familiar bottle
lifts it to his lips.... then stops
one day at a time
the writing helps dispel the images
of the better days long gone
he curses and swears "never again!"
as each one flashes on the screen inside his mind
one memory at a time
as he lays his pen to the desk
he sits up straight and reads
somewhat satisfied that he knows what he means
yet still has no idea of what he really needs
one poem at a time
slowly he shuffles to the window
and waits patiently for the rain to ruin another perfect view
and whispers to no one there...
one at a time...
June 15, 2005
He started to type that "he started to type"
just to have something on the page
In time, the words came
and ideas crept in
one line at a time
Was it a love sonet?
would he write about some imagined woman?
or why he feels so alone without her
or how her skin feels against the fingers of his mind?
one heartbeat at a time
Could it be rage that stains the page
frustration flowing freely into form
"Why does this life have to be
so completely frustrating for me?"
one desperate scream at a time
She's been gone forever it seems
surely he could put the feeling into words
does a dictionary contain the pain
of someone ripping half of you to pieces
one tear at a time
he calms the death grip on the pen
relaxes the muscles in his hand
reaches for the familiar bottle
lifts it to his lips.... then stops
one day at a time
the writing helps dispel the images
of the better days long gone
he curses and swears "never again!"
as each one flashes on the screen inside his mind
one memory at a time
as he lays his pen to the desk
he sits up straight and reads
somewhat satisfied that he knows what he means
yet still has no idea of what he really needs
one poem at a time
slowly he shuffles to the window
and waits patiently for the rain to ruin another perfect view
and whispers to no one there...
one at a time...
June 15, 2005
The Sound of Friday Night
3:59am
she noticed officer Walsh look at her partner across the front seat
they spoke a few words which were too quiet to hear
she counted the seconds between wiper passes
it was raining now
she looked in the rearview mirror and saw a look in Officer Walsh's eyes that seemed to say, "it's going to be alright"
3:39am
she was awakened by a woman with a gun and a badge
there was another, a man, close by
she said softly "my name is officer Walsh"
"we need you to help us answer a few questions"
she noticed that the her badge number was 71792... Tracy's birthday
1:25am
as the tears finally came, she laid next to the stonethe grass was wet and the dirt stuck to her faceshe said "I love you Tracy" over and over"it's gonna be ok now, I promise, I promise..."
she didn't mean to fall asleep
1:05am
17 blocks... she had never counted them before
from the place she lived to the place her sister slept
the cold shiny stone spoke her name to any who would listen
"Tracy Leigh Cullen, 1992-2003"
she suddenly remembered that her sister's initials were TLC and smiled weakly
12:27am
she walked down the stairs, instead of taking the elevator
each step echoing in time with the heart beat in her head
as she reached the street, the ambulance pulled up
and two paramedics, a man and a woman, ran by
they didn't see the sad girl walking by
12:14am
she sat down on the table next to them for a moment
and every dark memory ran through her mind
as if fleeing finally after being trapped for years
finally able to breathe, finally able to see
she didn't hear the sirens in the distance
12:13am
her mother sat in the blood, unable to move or speak
they exchanged glances, but only for a moment
this was one of those moments when the lines between good and evil
sometimes were hard to distinguish
she didn't see the tear in her mother's eye roll down a bruised cheek
12:12am
"c'mon now you crazy... what do you think........."
then incredible sound....... then nothing
she walked over and noticed the blood draining from the hole in his chest
into the cracks in the hardwood floor
she didn't feel any remorse....... at all
12:11am
he said "put down that thing"
"you're gonna do something you regret"
she thought "the only thing going down tonight is you"
"and all that you've done, I intend to never forget"
he never saw the "hard as steel" resolve in her eyes
12:10am
he turned around and glared at her with "those eyes"
she remembered the look, from once before
"not again" she said
"not this time, you son of a bitch"
she couldn't feel the fear anymore
12:05am
she looked around the corner
and saw his shape, and wanted to puke
the steel in her hand felt cold
like the heart that raced furiously in her chest
she didn't notice the trembling of her hand
12:03am
the gun was heavy in her hand
but she felt unusually strong tonight
she walked out of her room
then she slowly closed the door behind her forever
she didn't notice the sound of a bone breaking in the other room
12:01am
she awoke to the sound of Friday night
she heard her mother crying as knuckles crushed skin
his screaming only confirmed what she already knew
she wondered if this was the night......
as she walked pensively across a dirty floor
he never heard the sound of one drawer creaking slowly
May 29, 2005
she noticed officer Walsh look at her partner across the front seat
they spoke a few words which were too quiet to hear
she counted the seconds between wiper passes
it was raining now
she looked in the rearview mirror and saw a look in Officer Walsh's eyes that seemed to say, "it's going to be alright"
3:39am
she was awakened by a woman with a gun and a badge
there was another, a man, close by
she said softly "my name is officer Walsh"
"we need you to help us answer a few questions"
she noticed that the her badge number was 71792... Tracy's birthday
1:25am
as the tears finally came, she laid next to the stonethe grass was wet and the dirt stuck to her faceshe said "I love you Tracy" over and over"it's gonna be ok now, I promise, I promise..."
she didn't mean to fall asleep
1:05am
17 blocks... she had never counted them before
from the place she lived to the place her sister slept
the cold shiny stone spoke her name to any who would listen
"Tracy Leigh Cullen, 1992-2003"
she suddenly remembered that her sister's initials were TLC and smiled weakly
12:27am
she walked down the stairs, instead of taking the elevator
each step echoing in time with the heart beat in her head
as she reached the street, the ambulance pulled up
and two paramedics, a man and a woman, ran by
they didn't see the sad girl walking by
12:14am
she sat down on the table next to them for a moment
and every dark memory ran through her mind
as if fleeing finally after being trapped for years
finally able to breathe, finally able to see
she didn't hear the sirens in the distance
12:13am
her mother sat in the blood, unable to move or speak
they exchanged glances, but only for a moment
this was one of those moments when the lines between good and evil
sometimes were hard to distinguish
she didn't see the tear in her mother's eye roll down a bruised cheek
12:12am
"c'mon now you crazy... what do you think........."
then incredible sound....... then nothing
she walked over and noticed the blood draining from the hole in his chest
into the cracks in the hardwood floor
she didn't feel any remorse....... at all
12:11am
he said "put down that thing"
"you're gonna do something you regret"
she thought "the only thing going down tonight is you"
"and all that you've done, I intend to never forget"
he never saw the "hard as steel" resolve in her eyes
12:10am
he turned around and glared at her with "those eyes"
she remembered the look, from once before
"not again" she said
"not this time, you son of a bitch"
she couldn't feel the fear anymore
12:05am
she looked around the corner
and saw his shape, and wanted to puke
the steel in her hand felt cold
like the heart that raced furiously in her chest
she didn't notice the trembling of her hand
12:03am
the gun was heavy in her hand
but she felt unusually strong tonight
she walked out of her room
then she slowly closed the door behind her forever
she didn't notice the sound of a bone breaking in the other room
12:01am
she awoke to the sound of Friday night
she heard her mother crying as knuckles crushed skin
his screaming only confirmed what she already knew
she wondered if this was the night......
as she walked pensively across a dirty floor
he never heard the sound of one drawer creaking slowly
May 29, 2005
Four Lines
I've been here before, she said
unable to speak
unable to write
yes, I remember this place
thoughts rattle around
inside her mind
racing nervous circles
always to the left
she feels strangely silent
as the din of confusion
eliminates the droning
of boredom around her
always four lines at a time
not two
never three
always four
her ink dipped feather
drips clumsily
on a page
left wanting
spots
where words should have been spoken
stains
where smiles could have been reflected
sometimes, it seems,
all her past thoughts and screams
come echoing back
all at once
"how can I know for sure
that I'm who I'm supposed to be?"
"after all," she said,
"I'm only me!"
always four lines at a time
not two
never three...
May 23, 2005
unable to speak
unable to write
yes, I remember this place
thoughts rattle around
inside her mind
racing nervous circles
always to the left
she feels strangely silent
as the din of confusion
eliminates the droning
of boredom around her
always four lines at a time
not two
never three
always four
her ink dipped feather
drips clumsily
on a page
left wanting
spots
where words should have been spoken
stains
where smiles could have been reflected
sometimes, it seems,
all her past thoughts and screams
come echoing back
all at once
"how can I know for sure
that I'm who I'm supposed to be?"
"after all," she said,
"I'm only me!"
always four lines at a time
not two
never three...
May 23, 2005
Fall
A bud grew on an oak tree in a certain suburban yard. The spring rain trickled down through the ground to the root. There, the tree pumped the nourishing moisture through its veins to the small new bud.
The bud grew into a beautiful leaf. She finally viewed the whole wide world around her. Seeing things she never had seen. And what a view. Birds would light to rest near her. She would listen to their songs, feel the wind move her about. Always happy to just be there. Discovering all the wide world around her. Never looking forward to, or fearing the end. People would walk beneath her, always seeming to be in a hurry. Children would lean against the trunk of her tree, never seeming to have a care. No one noticed her. But she was happy.
Summer came and she would thirst. Just when she felt she could not carry on, a merciful thunderstorm would roll through. Even though the fearsome winds would wail about, she held firm. The veins of the tree would carry the water to her once again and she would revive. She always felt her best after a storm.
Temperatures cooled as the days went on. The laughter of children became less frequent. The wind became more of an opponent. The storms continued. The sun rested a little lower in the horizon.
For a short time, the rain and wind ceased. The bright sun shone against a brilliant blue sky. The trees around her seemed to be on fire. She, too, had changed. She had gone through a rainbow of colors and had settle on a beautiful crimson. People now stopped to stare. Children pointed. Some even smiled.
Yet, she was tired. She was thirsty.
A frost came. And the veins within the tree slowed. She began to grow listless. She began to feel her grip on her family grow weak. Those who had been closest to her began to fall away. Where were they going she wondered. When would I go. She was weak. In all this, she never feared.
One day as she considered her future, she grew very weary. There were no people. There were no children. No smiles and no water. The sun had disappeared for days. She had been so strong all this time. But it was time to let go. She took one look up..... to the sky. Then one look down.... to the ground beneath.
Then, she let go. She fell.
It wasn't that she had given up. No, she was ready to go. She had served her purpose. She had finished her course. It was simply time to go. Someplace new. Someplace different.
As she began to fall, a bird winged near her. She thought to herself.... "so this is what it is to fly."
Days later, a child came near. She was not aware of the child. She was no longer fresh and pliable. She was old and stiff and cracked when she moved. The child took her and placed her in a book.
50 years later.........
A book in an attic. A child climbs creaky stairs. The sound of steps approaches. "Grandma, what's this?" she said. "Just a book" came the answer.
The old woman stepped into the attic and sat down on a pile of old, faded newspapers. "Let me see what you've found there my dear." The old woman opened the book to the page where the leaf had been resting all this time.
And for an instant, there were three young spirits in that attic. The little girl held the leaf and wondered at the color. The old woman smiled widely as she said hello to an old friend. A tear welled up in her eye. As she smiled and recalled a beautiful fall day many years ago, the tear became too heavy to remain in the old woman's eye.
It hesitated... let go.... And fell.
Don't we all.........
May 3, 2005
The bud grew into a beautiful leaf. She finally viewed the whole wide world around her. Seeing things she never had seen. And what a view. Birds would light to rest near her. She would listen to their songs, feel the wind move her about. Always happy to just be there. Discovering all the wide world around her. Never looking forward to, or fearing the end. People would walk beneath her, always seeming to be in a hurry. Children would lean against the trunk of her tree, never seeming to have a care. No one noticed her. But she was happy.
Summer came and she would thirst. Just when she felt she could not carry on, a merciful thunderstorm would roll through. Even though the fearsome winds would wail about, she held firm. The veins of the tree would carry the water to her once again and she would revive. She always felt her best after a storm.
Temperatures cooled as the days went on. The laughter of children became less frequent. The wind became more of an opponent. The storms continued. The sun rested a little lower in the horizon.
For a short time, the rain and wind ceased. The bright sun shone against a brilliant blue sky. The trees around her seemed to be on fire. She, too, had changed. She had gone through a rainbow of colors and had settle on a beautiful crimson. People now stopped to stare. Children pointed. Some even smiled.
Yet, she was tired. She was thirsty.
A frost came. And the veins within the tree slowed. She began to grow listless. She began to feel her grip on her family grow weak. Those who had been closest to her began to fall away. Where were they going she wondered. When would I go. She was weak. In all this, she never feared.
One day as she considered her future, she grew very weary. There were no people. There were no children. No smiles and no water. The sun had disappeared for days. She had been so strong all this time. But it was time to let go. She took one look up..... to the sky. Then one look down.... to the ground beneath.
Then, she let go. She fell.
It wasn't that she had given up. No, she was ready to go. She had served her purpose. She had finished her course. It was simply time to go. Someplace new. Someplace different.
As she began to fall, a bird winged near her. She thought to herself.... "so this is what it is to fly."
Days later, a child came near. She was not aware of the child. She was no longer fresh and pliable. She was old and stiff and cracked when she moved. The child took her and placed her in a book.
50 years later.........
A book in an attic. A child climbs creaky stairs. The sound of steps approaches. "Grandma, what's this?" she said. "Just a book" came the answer.
The old woman stepped into the attic and sat down on a pile of old, faded newspapers. "Let me see what you've found there my dear." The old woman opened the book to the page where the leaf had been resting all this time.
And for an instant, there were three young spirits in that attic. The little girl held the leaf and wondered at the color. The old woman smiled widely as she said hello to an old friend. A tear welled up in her eye. As she smiled and recalled a beautiful fall day many years ago, the tear became too heavy to remain in the old woman's eye.
It hesitated... let go.... And fell.
Don't we all.........
May 3, 2005
Write On
Poets are people who feel too strongly,
see with such deep perception
all the virtue and evil
this world has to offer.
Sometimes overcome by the beautiful and rare
passions of this life.
Sometimes tormented and even killed
by the agony of loss.
I use to wonder
condescendingly
about poets.
No more...
For I am a poet..
embracing all the blessings and curses
that accompany this noble, if not happy office.
But do not wonder condescendingly about me,
for I would have it no other way.
Write on ye noble poets...
January 20, 2005
see with such deep perception
all the virtue and evil
this world has to offer.
Sometimes overcome by the beautiful and rare
passions of this life.
Sometimes tormented and even killed
by the agony of loss.
I use to wonder
condescendingly
about poets.
No more...
For I am a poet..
embracing all the blessings and curses
that accompany this noble, if not happy office.
But do not wonder condescendingly about me,
for I would have it no other way.
Write on ye noble poets...
January 20, 2005
Butterfly in November
A True Story - Perhaps not about Butterflies at All -
I saw a Butterfly in November
yesterday
she was alone and beautiful
and though her season would soon end
she carried on in her own way
oblivious to the coming cold
she appeared delicate, fragile and small
but I sensed in her a strength
I envied
as I watched her fly away
this morning I woke to a biting frost
and as my breath appeared to me
hanging in the bitter cold
I thought about that November Butterfly
and how it is sometimes the little things
we take with us forever
and in that way
she will live beyond this mortal season
I shall not be the only one who knew
she was here
as I tell my children's children
some cold autumn hour
about my Butterfly in November
from yesterday
November 8, 2004
I saw a Butterfly in November
yesterday
she was alone and beautiful
and though her season would soon end
she carried on in her own way
oblivious to the coming cold
she appeared delicate, fragile and small
but I sensed in her a strength
I envied
as I watched her fly away
this morning I woke to a biting frost
and as my breath appeared to me
hanging in the bitter cold
I thought about that November Butterfly
and how it is sometimes the little things
we take with us forever
and in that way
she will live beyond this mortal season
I shall not be the only one who knew
she was here
as I tell my children's children
some cold autumn hour
about my Butterfly in November
from yesterday
November 8, 2004
Peace
Your sudden departure
was like water that carves canyons
Leaving the empty space behind it
There are things I wish I'd said
Like how much......
or maybe that you....
Did I ever tell you....
I didn't think so.
But you already knew.
So, instead,
Goodbye to you
and to everything unsaid
and to all that was not done
Truth be told, if you were here
You'd say the same thing...
"I forgive you, Goodbye"
Goodbye.
Finally...
May 24, 2004
was like water that carves canyons
Leaving the empty space behind it
There are things I wish I'd said
Like how much......
or maybe that you....
Did I ever tell you....
I didn't think so.
But you already knew.
So, instead,
Goodbye to you
and to everything unsaid
and to all that was not done
Truth be told, if you were here
You'd say the same thing...
"I forgive you, Goodbye"
Goodbye.
Finally...
May 24, 2004
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